| Tell your Friends! OurFaith Digest is online! |
Church as Family When Michael King was a
boy, his parents turned their large family into a
touring band singing Bill Gaither's "I'm so Glad
I'm Part of the Family of God." Ever since then,
he's enjoyed kicking around the pros and cons
of the small family church.
boy, his parents turned their large family into a
touring band singing Bill Gaither's "I'm so Glad
I'm Part of the Family of God." Ever since then,
he's enjoyed kicking around the pros and cons
of the small family church.
A generation ago my missionary parents turned our large
family into a touring band, singing Bill Gaither’s “I’m So
Glad I’m a Part of the Family of God.” Ever since then, I’ve
had to work not to see family and church as
interchangeable.
Scripture itself (Romans 8:15-17, Galatians 4:5, and more)
tells us that through Christ we become adopted sons and
daughters of God, hence also each other’s brothers and
sisters. However, blend the family image with family-like
structure, as do so many small congregations, and things
can get tangled.
A problem with small churches that are families is this: The
cozy family church can also be the cramped family nest.
You crawl over each other like baby birds and risk seeing
that tiny space as the only world there is. The church as
family can become the nest that traps us instead of being a
launching pad into God’s great world out there.
A second problem is that family churches are wrapped in a
force field. Walk as a stranger into a family-style church
and reel like I do when I forget the sliding-glass door is
closed and crash right into it. The family church force field
can be invisible, but it’s there. It’s made up of all the things
you have to know, all the rituals and memories you have to
have shared, all the rules (“This is the way we do family.”)
you have to have mastered to belong to the gang.
Everybody knows everybody else’s business, and whoever
misses being in this loop or that feels devalued and
excluded.
Reasons to celebrate: For many of us, family equals
safety. In an ever-complex culture that changes at ever
more dazzling speeds, the small family church is a haven.
Here the impersonal hordes, the cool but intimidating styles
of mass media, in which all humans except us are beautiful,
the indigestible masses of information hurled at us by ever-
evolving technologies, are tamed. Here, people know your
name. They know your foibles and your triumphs. Here, as
in any family, they’re supposed to take you as you are, just
because you’re family.
Another reason to celebrate church as family is that it
offers amazing potential for healing. Many of us are
underparented, overparented, nonparented. Many of us
come from broken families, hurting or hurtful families,
families that have disowned us or from whom our addictions
or poor choices have severed us. Church as family gives
us a fresh start. Here we again become children, this time
of a more reliable parent than any human one, and gain
new brothers and sisters who, though flawed, are at their
best committed to helping carry our burdens.
Repeatedly as pastor I’ve watched with awe as people who
seem broken nearly beyond repair enter this new family
and change. Often the change is even dazzlingly physical,
as those whose wounds have even undermined their
bodies experience a reweaving at every level of being.
Something profound is going on. Partly, it’s the work of
God. But one key way God works is precisely through those
brothers and sisters in the family of God.
Like biological families at reunions, the family church is
often informal, noisy, fun loving. People hug and cry out
welcomes. Children scurry. We’re so glad to be together.
Can’t you just feel it? This can trap. It can also heal.
Let’s be part of the family of God and of branches on the
vine, of the body of Christ, of the royal priesthood, the holy
nation, of the Holy City to which all God’s people stream
from every nest.
family into a touring band, singing Bill Gaither’s “I’m So
Glad I’m a Part of the Family of God.” Ever since then, I’ve
had to work not to see family and church as
interchangeable.
Scripture itself (Romans 8:15-17, Galatians 4:5, and more)
tells us that through Christ we become adopted sons and
daughters of God, hence also each other’s brothers and
sisters. However, blend the family image with family-like
structure, as do so many small congregations, and things
can get tangled.
A problem with small churches that are families is this: The
cozy family church can also be the cramped family nest.
You crawl over each other like baby birds and risk seeing
that tiny space as the only world there is. The church as
family can become the nest that traps us instead of being a
launching pad into God’s great world out there.
A second problem is that family churches are wrapped in a
force field. Walk as a stranger into a family-style church
and reel like I do when I forget the sliding-glass door is
closed and crash right into it. The family church force field
can be invisible, but it’s there. It’s made up of all the things
you have to know, all the rituals and memories you have to
have shared, all the rules (“This is the way we do family.”)
you have to have mastered to belong to the gang.
Everybody knows everybody else’s business, and whoever
misses being in this loop or that feels devalued and
excluded.
Reasons to celebrate: For many of us, family equals
safety. In an ever-complex culture that changes at ever
more dazzling speeds, the small family church is a haven.
Here the impersonal hordes, the cool but intimidating styles
of mass media, in which all humans except us are beautiful,
the indigestible masses of information hurled at us by ever-
evolving technologies, are tamed. Here, people know your
name. They know your foibles and your triumphs. Here, as
in any family, they’re supposed to take you as you are, just
because you’re family.
Another reason to celebrate church as family is that it
offers amazing potential for healing. Many of us are
underparented, overparented, nonparented. Many of us
come from broken families, hurting or hurtful families,
families that have disowned us or from whom our addictions
or poor choices have severed us. Church as family gives
us a fresh start. Here we again become children, this time
of a more reliable parent than any human one, and gain
new brothers and sisters who, though flawed, are at their
best committed to helping carry our burdens.
Repeatedly as pastor I’ve watched with awe as people who
seem broken nearly beyond repair enter this new family
and change. Often the change is even dazzlingly physical,
as those whose wounds have even undermined their
bodies experience a reweaving at every level of being.
Something profound is going on. Partly, it’s the work of
God. But one key way God works is precisely through those
brothers and sisters in the family of God.
Like biological families at reunions, the family church is
often informal, noisy, fun loving. People hug and cry out
welcomes. Children scurry. We’re so glad to be together.
Can’t you just feel it? This can trap. It can also heal.
Let’s be part of the family of God and of branches on the
vine, of the body of Christ, of the royal priesthood, the holy
nation, of the Holy City to which all God’s people stream
from every nest.
| OurFaith Digest seeks to nourish faith, family and mission with stories from the Mennonite/Anabaptist faith tradition. |
Welcome to OurFaith Digest
| Copyright 2008 OurFaith Digest |
Michael A. King is pastor of Spring Mount (Pa.) Mennonite
Church, publisher of Cascadia Publishing House LLC and
editor of DreamSeeker magazine.
Church, publisher of Cascadia Publishing House LLC and
editor of DreamSeeker magazine.
